The Paralyzing Aspect of Anxiety… (Self-Help Saturday)

Anxiety…

The article above explains why repeated exposure to places, or events may help us manage our intense and anxiety-ridden feelings about those situations in a more confident manner.  This article supports the idea that allowing something to become habitual makes it a less stressful event.  The thing that most people do when met with a situation that creates a feeling of anxiousness or fear is to avoid it, so the feeling of vulnerability doesn’t overwhelm their senses.  Science says that one way to beat it, is to expose yourself to it, repeatedly.

I can remember being an elementary student that feared speaking at all, much less speaking in front of a classroom full of kids… I believed that this role took a very courageous individual.  I felt like all of my teachers must have been superheroes.  To be so confident, all were able to speak so freely and with so much authority.

ross teaching

I felt at that age, I would never be able to speak in front of people; however, I grew up. I had to take speech, sing in choir, and do some news anchor intern stuff for a college class.

old teacherEventually, after some time, I was the person standing in front of the classroom speaking to all of those  kids.  The crazy thing here is… I still feel like that elementary student at times when I am asked to speak in front of the same amount of adults.  I know where this fear stems from and I also know that I have the ability to overcome this fear.  I will overcome this fear with more exposure.  Just remember ANXIETY is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.  We control so many other feelings, why do we let anxiety control us? Consider this anxious feeling I have about public speaking being comparable to paralyzing stage fright.

stage fright

There are several things that we may be asked to do throughout our day that could awaken overwhelming anxiety.  After all, anxiety is an emotion.  We can handle the emotions that bring about good feelings, and in life we learn to avoid those that bring about bad feelings.  The trick here is to learn what causes theses overwhelming emotions, be present when you are feeling them, and if need be take your mental focus to something in the situation externally that is more pleasant than what you are feeling internally.

I know that being bitten by a poisonous snake is something I have always feared.  I don’t imagine I will go handle snakes over and over until I am milking a viper.

viper milk

This fear doesn’t halt my everyday existence.  I know that each time I take a hike up a mountain or through high grass in a field someplace there is a chance that I will come into contact with a snake.  It doesn’t control my actions, I have a healthy fear of snakes.  There are those that are controlled by the emotional leash of anxiety.  This emotional leash of anxiety is one you can choose on how you would like to respond. It shouldn’t stop you from living.  Don’t become the pet on the end of the leash of anxiety.  We should remind ourselves that we are the owner.  The one in charge.  Thoughts and emotions shouldn’t paralyze us, ever.  Everything is always so much more aesthetic in theory and so much easier to say than to act on.  As I write this, I know how hard it will be to practice.  One step at a time, I don’t plan on jumping into a pit of snakes anytime soon.

Use your time to practice controlling that emotion.  If we can release the control it has over us by exposing ourselves to the things that limit our everyday existence.  Imagine all of the confidence gained from growing through the intense emotional control.  Be over anxiety, by allowing the feeling to pass.  Practice this and very little will be able to stop you.

Do you struggle with anxiety?  What are things that has halted you in your steps?  Have you ever tried to immerse yourself into that feeling to see how long it took for the feeling to go away?  I am asking for a friend.

Have a great day!

 

#SelfhelpSaturday (4 – 14 – 18)

paint color

The above picture shows the color I chose for the living room. (Acier Gray: Sherwin Williams )

Late Friday night, I finished up painting two walls of my living room a beautiful matte gray.  The paint has a very neat and clean finish.  I chose a matte finish as it seems to be so pleasing and easy on the eyes.  Painting two walls doesn’t sound like much work to most who will read this blog… or may not even sound like much of an accomplishment. After moving the furniture, cleaning the walls, patching any screw or nail holes and taping off the trim/crown molding, I felt like I had completed a pretty intense project.  All while keeping a 3 year old, occupied. Of course she had to help mommy paint the walls.  She really did most of the painting, I just trailed behind her and spread all the globs out.  LOL!  My goodness, what I wouldn’t give for her level of energy again.

I was just looking up my color choice and found that there is a shade called : Mindful Gray.  That will be my next paint choice, maybe for the hallway.  Here it is pictured below.

mindful gray

I wrote about procrastination and a few methods that can help everyone to not put off projects until the last minute.  Rather, get started on those projects by diving in.  Stop putting things off.  Painting my living room was one of the projects I had been putting off.  It was the fault of my thoughts, obviously.  I had tossed around all the work that would be required to complete said project, and those thoughts bouncing around in my mind kept me from just diving in.

The beauty into diving into any project you may be avoiding, is of course that initial feeling of accomplishment once you complete it.  It also provides more energy within to tackle other things you have been avoiding.  It has a way of propelling us forward to complete tasks we once felt would be too much work.  Just being mindful about my attitude towards projects makes me aware of the priority of the task.  I have found if a task is mundane or redundant I will put it off until it absolutely has to be done.  I am hoping to change my attitude about these tasks.  If I am successful, dishes and laundry should be mostly done everyday.  LOL!

I know that I am not alone in my attitude with procrastination and the good feelings it can provide us after we have invested the hard-work required. sherwin williams

We had a ball tournament for my son this weekend and it was blistery cold.  The wind blowing at least 20-25 mph.  I nearly froze.  They ended up with the 2nd place title after losing the 2nd game on Saturday, then playing numerous games on Sunday (back to back) to get back to the championship game.  I know that my son was tuckered out. He fell asleep just as soon as he had some good food in his tummy.

On Saturday, after he had played a couple games we all sat down to eat a meal at a wonderful restaurant here in Oklahoma called, La Baguette.  The food is always amazing, and they ran out of our choice desserts before we were ready to order them.  We still found some delicious tasty treats to cure our sweet tooth.

la-baguette

I noticed that my son was being very quiet.  He is a normally very calm and quiet individual regardless and maybe this quiet is only noticeable to his mother.  At any rate, we started talking because I wanted to know what was on his mind.  He told me that he didn’t really want to play baseball anymore.  This actually wasn’t true once we talked it all out.  He was almost ready to make a decision based on how he was feeling.  He liked baseball.  The truth was he wasn’t too happy about a few things that happened with his performance and the reaction he received from his coaches.  I was able to talk him through it.  If I had not been mindful of his behavior, had I not been there to just listen to him and ask questions and use methods that I personally have to use he may not have understood what he was going through and could have performed poorly on Sunday.  His perception of the game would have been different and he may have felt that he was being forced to play.  I could see a remarkable difference in his performance on Sunday and I am proud of my son to see how sometimes feelings can get in the way, and it is helpful to talk about those feelings, to be heard, and to have those feelings validated.  I am so thankful for my babies and hope to continue working on myself so that I am walking proof that any one of us can overcome obstacles. The small ones, the big ones, the surprise ones.  I am helping myself today by staying focused on the little people that hold a huge place in my heart.

Have a great day!

#SelfhelpSaturday Post 1

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Debt Relief Programs – TOP TEN

Debt, oh how it can envelope us.  Drowning, is the term you may often hear used with the word debt.  As everyone that has ever said those words, “I am drowning in debt!”  really need help.  How does one go from the life of credit cards, and fake freedom to a life using cash and actual financial freedom.

I of course am no expert in financial freedom, although someday I hope to be.  Why listen to me?  Umm… I am starting the journey to become debt free.  Learn from my mistakes.  That way more people, especially young people don’t make the same mistakes that I did.

As I take this first step towards this debt freedom,  I realize I am about to work my way towards the most difficult journey of my life, almost like physically climbing to the top of Mt. Everest.  Not many people reach the top of Mt. Everest (approximately 4,000 people) over 200 people have died, here is the list of those that lost their lives to the climb trying to reach the top of this 29,000 ft. peak.  I was actually surprised to find out that over 4,000 people have successfully reached the top of this ginormous mountain.  These climbers are proof that it isn’t exactly impossible, but that this is also an event that not everyone will be excited to sign up for.  Talk about discipline and a little bit of insanity to sign up for this. And similarly, most people never realize the mountain of debt they have been building in their lifetime, and just where to gain the experience and wisdom needed to become an advanced climber to reach the peak of this mountain and claim it as their bitch.  How do we do this?  More importantly, how do I do this? 🙂

mountainHow severe is debt in the United States?  This is not a place of mystery for most.  I just googled it and those that are reliant upon credit to survive is at 40% according to “TIME”, and of course this percentage goes up to 45% when the income decreases below a $50K yearly salary.  I don’t make $50K.  I am not happy about being with 45 % of the population that relies on plastic to make it. plastic and the numbers that rely on it for everyday purchases

I know the struggle, and it appears that 45% of people making a similar salary or sadly, below the amount I make, understand this struggle too.

My first step this week has obviously been to find  a way to manage the debt I have incurred over my lifespan.  I want to do this on my own, so I only want to manage this solely on my income.  I have recently reached out to a debt relief program. Freedom Debt Relief Website  I know one thing is certain they do not consolidate or pay off student loan debt.  This makes me sad.  50 % of my debt or more is student loan debt.  This debt sadly stays with you until the grave and somehow I have heard that it can follow you there too.

Second step, realize my problems with credit card usage, and use methods of budgeting and only make purchases with cash.  Do not touch allotted savings each month.

I also need something to invest in.  Any suggestions?

My #selfhelpsaturday for April 7th, 2018 is about finances and being debt free.  Hopefully in a year from now we can see some progress.  Day 1, and step 1 of several.

HELP YOURSELF TO THESE LINKS!

5 Steps – Become financially responsible

Clean up your debt link

Huffington Post 2017 – advice on Self Care