The birthday, that says to the world “over the hill!”
I do take things quite literally, so I laced up my hiking boots, traveled to the Ozark’s of Arkansas with the fam, and we hiked their mountainous trails. First of all, what stunning scenery.
INDIAN ROCK HOUSE TRAIL
I can truly say that getting to this point in life isn’t really “over the hill.” I now understand I’m mid-climb, and I also know I’m still climbing! The point of living is knowing there is still so much more to climb, and the beautiful discovery of self is in realizing the unique gifts God has given to you during the strenuous parts of the climb, not only to ensure that you make it to the top, but to bring as many people with you along the way. Which means to me… don’t get in anyone’s way, don’t intentionally hurt them along their personal journey, lift other people up with encouragement, and guide them and make them stronger with truth.
Things I’ve learned in this last stretch of my climb…
Loving God is really important!
Loving yourself is really important!
Loving your spouse is really important!
Loving your children is really important!
Loving your neighbor is really important!
Loving honesty is critical for growth!
Loving peace is critical for your soul!
🏔🌟🌟🌟ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL 🌟🌟🌟🏔
When you ACCEPT His blessing, His mercy, His forgiveness and ultimately His LOVE, you can truly start to utilize the gifts he has created in you, for you and for others on a daily basis.
You are a gift to the world!
This acceptance brings profound meaning to your climb. I know it has brought much meaning to mine. The instant that you realize you haven’t been climbing to reach the top for yourself, but to show others the way is the moment your steps become less heavy, the weight is shared among all of God’s people. We were meant to help one another… not cause each other to sink into the burden of sin. The Lord has been working on cutting away the parts of me that aren’t working for His will, and I am certain that following God’s way is the only way! 🦋
I’m praying many find this narrow road! 🥾🥾Forest Trail #1🥾🥾
If I were to look at the rest of my life as a downhill coast… I believe it would lead to an early grave. I’ll keep my aim on high places. The mountain I’ve been placed on may peak at a greater elevation point than the hills most people my age complete by 40. Lord knows I’ve been climbing. I’m not done yet! Hallelujah!
There seems to be a monster lurking in public places.
Set the scene: The year 2020!
The disruptive sounds of a hacking cough,
Promoting a look of alarm
And the indignant scoff.
(A novel virus enters the scene…) 🦠
You guys remember, our #1 fear!
Homeschooling begins…
Most all schools are closed…
Indefinitely.
Teachers work from home,
Delivering… instruction
Virtually.
Suicide rates increasing,
our young people deciding,
to die.
Why were they taught,
that this was an option,
why?
The Fauci & friends decided early in 2018
how THEY would beat this thing.
There must be only one remedy
“THE remedy,” will be a warp speed vaccine.
Normally, a process that takes a decade.
With emergency authorization, decisions were made.
I’m sure those “willing” volunteers didn’t hear
Some VAERS reports may contain information that is incomplete, inaccurate, coincidental, or unverifiable. Vaccine safety experts study these adverse events and look for unusually high numbers of health problems, or a pattern of problems, after people receive a particular vaccine.
Recently, the number of deaths reported to VAERS following COVID-19 vaccination has been misinterpreted and misreported as if this number means deaths that were proven to be caused by vaccination. Reports of adverse events to VAERS following vaccination, including deaths, do not necessarily mean that a vaccine caused a health problem.
~ CDC VAERS Website – ** Why would someone take the time to report a death if it wasn’t directly due to taking a vaccine?🧐
& surprise, surprise, within a year…
Listen everyone, the cure to Covid is here!
It’s safe and effective, get yours today!
Why??? Because you should all do as I say!
I’m the expert! (Expert at avoiding truth!)
Wait no, it’s more like an immune booster, not a cure!
Just take one shot, no…
two shots, now three…
Well hmm, maybe four!
Except the one’s it killed.
A booster & a vaccine card for proof
If you don’t… *Poof*
All things that go against this “scientific situation.”
Will now be tagged as misinformation.
Facebook helps “your content has been removed for a guideline violation.”
Let’s not forget the platform with the blue bird.
Twitter tells their conservative users “you shall never be heard!”
Freedom of speech, (brief pause)
It started with Dr. Seuss, now it’s made it to Dr. Oz.
Taking away credibility of opposing doctors, without proof or cause.
We need new politicians that will honor integrity.
We need less government, immediately!
Truth!
Year of mandates, 2021
Social distancing, masks, & “vaccination”
Social media no longer a place for debate
No dialectical conversations as of late
No truth or any real data given,
The world deserves an explanation,
WE matter!
Not 75 years from now,
but now!
The people will not just listen & remain quiet.
Or tune in to watch your “mostly peaceful” BLM riots!
Remember citizens, we must all trust their manipulated science
Too many loved ones taken by “Covid.”
Or was it the forced, poor, medical protocols that did?
Or that the vaccine manufacturers are legally protected
“More than 547 million doses of COVID-19 vaccines were administered in the United States from December 14, 2020, through February 14, 2022. During this time, VAERS received 12,304 preliminary reports of death (0.0022%)
~ CDC VAERS Website
CDC : copied & pasted direct from the website today 2/21/2022 @ 9:38 pm… incase they change it! CNN
The manufacturers no longer held liable.
Deaths and injury numbers, the only data unreliable??? 🧐
Soldiers FORCED to take THE inefficient shot
If not,
They will be dishonorably discharged
Nurses and doctors forced to bare their arms…
Not the 2nd amendment. Bare their actual arms.
It matters not…
That they survived the initial two years with natural immunity
I ask now, that as a community
We stop calling it a vaccine, or pushing this absurdity!
Fear increases… it’s been 2 years now since 2020
Stop calling it a vaccine.
They continue to change all the definitions…
So now…
Man is a woman, woman is a man
Trump didn’t win, it was Joe Biden
Elections aren’t rigged, just so you know…
Be on the lookout for your mail in vote!
People aren’t tired of dealing with the left
Those types of people are just “white supremacists.”
Ukraine’s borders are more important than ours.
Clarify to the people Biden, who is in control of these powers?
Our southern border sits open like 7-11, open all hours
Don’t worry officials, the big guy is documenting your sin.
All of these crimes against humanity!
You still think we can’t win?
I pray for the courage to stop this insanity
Even if you’ve never prayed, begin today!
Don’t take my word for it, open your eyes!
You’ll see the unbelievable amount of lies,
We will tell them that “Democracy is dying” as we continue to destroy it!
For instance this one “if illegals can’t vote then democracy dies!”
Federally, it is still a right given to legal citizens.
Watch “The News” for 5 seconds and you’ll see what I mean.
It’s not funny! People still do.
Who is this good for? It’s Good for WHO!
And their many large donors.
“As a result, those “buckets” can be misleading. In 2016, for example, FNIH listed eight donors who each gave more than $2.5 million, its top category. But a separate report FNIH filed with the Internal Revenue Service reveals that one of those donors gave $19.1 million. (The filing does not name the donor, but FNIH told Science it was the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation in Seattle, Washington.)”
~ Science.org… U.S. lawmakers want NIH and CDC foundations to say more about donors Congressional panel seeks greater transparency from bodies that raise private funds for federal research 29 JUN 2018 (ahead of Covid-19🤔 looks fishy to me… just saying!) BYJEFFREY MERVIS
A topic to discuss at depth with educated stoners
These provocative actions against the working people, kicking ass!
No surprise they attacked the workers, they want a dependent class!
We have been so busy, trying to pay off debt & live our best lives!
We didn’t know, we’d have to fight Big Pharma & Big Tech to survive!
Cut em up! All of them!
We will not be forced to just listen to the MAN!
WE listen, learn and lastly WE stand!
Stand against the Tyranny invading our lands!
We will instead fight to keep our rights,
A remedy for destructive behavior, is love not hate!
As so many peacefully protest, guarding the gate
God says now we must postulate!
The attack they have delivered is deeper than greed
What more could these elites possibly need?
A trillion dollars seems to be more than enough.
They want full control. Rules are as such:
• The act of critical thinking, no longer allowed.
• white people are privileged, yes even the down and out.
• 4 year olds should learn about sexual stuff and Critical Race Theory
• If one speaks out against THE Authority…. ————-Label them a racist, or a domestic terrorist!
• Do what we tell you, not what is right or honest!
• The only way to survive this pandemic is to trust that the government knows best!
*Disclaimer, this poem was written as a piece of art and my method of word therapy. Let those that read it, begin their individual journey to seek truth. Deception is present in all directions, more than I have ever observed. I am praying for all people, even those that push these atrocities on our most innocent people, our children. You are not my enemy, but an enemy of goodness. That’s what makes you Evil!*
Need more info to motivate you to do research, look at current world leaders and their connections to World Economic Forum!
There is no journey, quite like the one we go on, when we decide to explore ourselves. ~M. Clonch
Deep thoughts!
There have been moments in my own life that would completely boggle the mind of most people. You see, I know that for a fact as I’m the one that has made these decisions and sometimes I’m even perplexed as to how I could have made such decisions. I have led my life with my feelings mostly in charge of the reigns. If it seemed that it could meet expected, desired results, then I would agree to do certain things. This led to some impulsive and downright selfish behaviors. Now, I’m sure most people would say they have done things in their own life that they aren’t proud of. If SHAME were a bed & breakfast I booked myself a room there and stayed inside the executive suite, brewing shame & self loathing for several days, & at the very worst of it, I’ve stayed months & months. I think the cleaning lady finally came along & kicked me out. 😂
I’m also the cleaning lady!
I am guilty of staying at this place several times, and still, I am guilty of revisiting the entrance to this place from time to time. When I maintain self-awareness, I can simply observe quickly of the mental place I have arrived and decide it’s not where I want to be. Understand that something should be learned in this moment and then simply move along further on the journey. One could also succumb to the alternative & just book an extended stay at the “I Hate Me Hotel” and wallow in self-hate. The option is always there, but you must realize the final decision is always YOURS.
We have all been here! (Side note: I’m lactose intolerant, so in my experience, ice cream just creates more problems. It doesn’t fix them.)
I choose to be in a state of constant motion, not so much a physical state of motion, but I keep my brain active. It’s best not to book a long stay at the “I Hate Me Hotel!” So if I find myself at the entrance & if you accidentally find yourself here, this is my advice; Step 1) realize you are about to check in to the worst place ever & then request an early checkout. Know that there will never be refunds, and it will cost you dearly if you choose to stay. Step 2) Take note of the path you took to get here, and avoid that path. It was only meant to be traveled once. There is no need to return.
“Oh! I’m the one driving this thing!”
Hopefully, by this point we are both envisioning the “I Hate Me Hotel” as this run down hotel, that kind of resembles a haunted house. It needs a lot of TLC, and everything about it is dark and uninviting. I’ve learned that this place physically exists in our minds. Personally, I know that my mind at times can be very dark, a self-deprecating place. This place can speak awful things about ya the entire duration of your stay, and one should never expect to have any fun while staying there.
Who booked this trip?
I’ve also discovered a lovely place, we will call this place “Peaceful Retreat” this can be a place of deep self- love, self-forgiveness, intense joy and appreciation, oh yeah and sarcasm. Yes, sarcasm- this is one of my most refined personality traits. It has to be included at the “Peaceful Retreat”!!!! 😂
💯
Throughout my personal journey and experience with these “places” we can stop in & stay, this I have learned. YOU must agree to stay there. No one is forcing you and no one can rescue you from it, except YOU! If you learn how to identify these internal points of interest, you can discover new routes that may help you avoid the traffic jam (depressive state) all together.
No GPS for personal journeys, sorry!
I have learned to recognize the places I travel regularly, my husband calls this my patterned behavior. In all my years, it seems the only routine I was sticking with was killing me on the inside. Now when I arrive at these “points of interest” I ask myself, “do I really want to stay here? And at such a high price?” Fully aware that if I choose to stay in that place it will tear me down internally first, then it will promote havoc externally. Knowing that this mental state only aims to tear me down or mentally wreck me, makes it much easier to now say… “umm no! Not today Satan! I don’t want to feel bad about who I am.”
There is much power in knowing who you are!
Ok, so what does this all mean? Discovering yourself and going on an internal journey. First off, the journey can take years, so pack a bag that will help you stay prepared for anything. You won’t realize all the difficult terrain you will come across. I suggest throwing in a few people that you know you can trust & that can help you along the way with some external insights & brutal honesty.
Enjoy the journey, you are the guide, you are the amusement, you are everything. { “I” am not in your journey, but “YOU R”! }~M.Clonch
You R!
If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading. I hope I have helped you recognize something about where you might currently be in your journey and that your next destination completely relies on you!
My journey has currently taken me in a direction that allows the stronger and more beautiful parts of who I am to shine, and this light helps me see more clearly of who I hope to become. pray that my journey is a long one! Check out Www.TheEmeraldGypsy.comto see my current point of interest. I’m loving it, I’m not the greatest at it yet, but I’m giving myself the opportunity to try to be. Love and peace to all! Stay Safe!
Every year, I find myself evaluating my life’s journey as my birthday approaches. This year will be the last year in my thirties. I don’t think 40 is that old, now that I’m sitting so terribly close to it. I look at all the things I have experienced over the last 300+ days of my 38th year and try to evaluate all the ways I could have been a better person, while quietly celebrating the times I am sure I did my very best.
Looking back I see the mountains I have had to overcome.
Dissolving the lens I once used to look at myself, helped to initiate a sudden series of revelations. Removing this lens allowed an opportunity to meet my true self. At first, I began to see who I had always been. The innocence that I thought I had lost, resurfaced, reminding me that it had never left. The curiosity, I used when exploring my world as a child, gained intensity. The biggest inner transformation occurred when I decided to accept all of my mistakes.
Mistakes are allowed!
I mean all of my mistakes, the big ones, the small ones, the consistent mistakes, and my future mistakes. I forgave myself with the most simple of intentions. I recognized that I was already forgiven, the only living soul without sin, the man with a flawless record, had not only forgiven me, he painfully & selflessly sacrificed his body without deserving any of it. He took my lashings, he bled for me. He wept for me. He died for me.
Worthy of this kind of love & sacrifice.
If he could forgive me, then it would be a “perfect” thing for me to also forgive my past transgressions as well as any future transgressions. I thought deeply about his physical sacrifice, the pain he endured on my behalf. All so that I could be saved, and instead of choosing to live within this gift of eternal blessings, I was choosing to live in the physical pain of sin. He knew long before you & I were ever born that ALL humans would need this absolute forgiveness. I started chipping away the deception I had lived in most of my life. The idea that I wasn’t enough. A lie! The idea that I was not created with a purpose. A lie! The idea that I was set to live out the path my mother had cleared for me. A lie! The idea that I couldn’t be a messenger for God because of my sins. A lie! The idea that my soul was lost or confused. A lie! I began to rebuke the lies. I began to tell myself the truth. I began to love myself, not in a selfish way, but in the way I could finally see my soul as not being perfect, but as a soul that was formed and yet still worthy of His only son’s sacrifice. You are worthy of forgiveness and that was why such a huge sacrifice was necessary, a perfect sacrifice for a multitude of sins.
Covering a multitude of sin…
With a large dose of truth & pure light I began to forgive myself… I noticed that I was no longer just a blossom, but a beautiful bouquet of self-love.
I will write my own story.
This past year has awakened me in more ways than I ever thought possible. Each day bringing new & welcomed challenges, as well as a new level of self-awareness. Becoming self-aware unlocked some deeply buried potential. This higher-level of awareness began to absolve the negative lens I had used to view my life. Looking back now, I can clearly see that this had been the singular lens in which I had been looking through while trying to find purpose in my life. It is difficult to find your truth and your purpose when the view is covered in lies (the negative lens).
Vision blurred by deception.
I became acutely aware of boundaries I had permitted to be crossed and broken, I became aware of my detachment from the meaningful parts of life, and learned of the places in which to apply necessary boundaries. I searched myself for all the pain and injury from my past that I had allowed to reside in my spirit, and began to write eviction notices. I had carried them all for far too long. Childhood trauma, you can leave! You are evicted. I don’t need you. I can take care of myself now, as well as I take care of my own children. (This required a lot of forgiveness and a huge release of carried resentment that I felt as it physically detached from my spirit.) I grieved each time I evicted past injuries. I had to intentionally set aside time to forgive the people that I felt had taken advantage of my kindness, my innocence, my goodness! I had found that I had subconsciously held onto this pain for most of my adult life as justification for my own errors. I had been living life like some sort of weary traveler, loaded down with negative feelings, thoughts and emotions.
In moments of despair, remember you are already saved!
I now have a greater understanding of myself & that there will always be things that I encounter that I will try to hold onto, and I can at times be better served by just relenting my control. If you are like me, you may try to control most things in your life, so to release this control can be very challenging. Learning to let things go can be a painful exercise, understanding that we are unable to direct specific or certain outcomes can be comparable to cutting off one’s own leg. I had to figure out where my ability to change things began/ended. The moment I became aware of myself and the parameters of my influence. I began to better understand and give proper respect to the outermost boundaries of my influence. This helped me relinquish the control I once held onto so tightly. A firm grip is not long lasting. My firm grip would soon lead to the loss of any type of grip allowing moments for everything to spiral out of control. I’d find myself completely exhausted, waking among the aftermath of the storm, I had created.
Aftermath…
I didn’t know how to find me, and instead of broadening my search, I kept looking in the same old places. I kept looking for me in other people. No one knew what I was looking for or that I had felt I had been a missing person. It was easier not to explain my search… not to ask who they thought I was? Secretly, I would search my surroundings and people I had been around to find what I alone had been hiding. Who am I? What did I want? What was my purpose?
🦋🦄
For the longest time I couldn’t distinguish between the things I’d done to please others versus what I actually wanted. I know I’ve made decisions in the past prescribing to a life that is better for everyone. These decisions however wise, left me feeling proud and yet confused. Some passing moments or events would cause me to question my motives. It was only when I would seek the stillness and the quiet that I could realize my purpose. I’d realize my heart. Some memories swirl tirelessly there. Kept guarded internally, so I can keep them safe. The heart/soul, is a vast container of all that is good, it holds everything that is dear, it also contains and provides love.
My mind can often be confused by the sacrificing of self, (My flesh). It is only when we have removed the flesh can we discover our spirit. My soul will seek to understand His will, my self will seek to understand my own will. When I relinquish control now I do so confidently knowing that my purpose is to fulfill His will and not my own. Remarkably, with this understanding you realize nothing brings greater spiritual fruit. My own happiness grows through acknowledging my spiritual purpose. Love Abides in me and I am in Love with who “I Am”!
🥳 39 years young!
Praying for peace during these uncertain times! Remember, you belong, you have a purpose and know that you are loved! Thanks for reading!
This morning was a first for me… I posted a TikTok… that I couldn’t share with my brother, because it was “Under Review” it’s now been under review over half an hour, and I am baffled.
I’m pretty sure it is the fact that in it I am voicing that our real opponent in this battle are “powers and principalities.”
Or it could have been the part where I wrote “I have already been to war to bring LIBERTY to those in a different country. Yes, I will protect the freedoms of We The People”
Maybe it was the part that said Warriors, REBUKE greed, insanity, perversion?
You be the judge…
Or maybe it was putting the motto I learned while serving in the Army from my chosen MOS, Chaplain Assistant. “Pro Deo Et Patria!” on the end, which literally means… “For God and Country!”
There is so much power in prayer, praise, and our words that’s why people are being censored! 🤬
Keep praying, stand steadfast be prepared… this is just the beginning.
I had this crazy idea a couple of weeks ago to start a series on the U. S. Constitution. I thought it would help me process my thoughts about what is happening in our country & about the importance of the Constitution. This would also offer an opportunity for me to teach the things I have learned. It is, after all, what I do. I do understand now how important it is for ALL of us to be diligent in our duties as citizens. To highlight the importance of our unyielding support and defense of the Constitution. There are worse things I could do with my time…
Upon my 🧐 research I found YouTube videos that explain the Bill Of Rights and videos that explain the history behind our founding documents in more detail. I even enrolled in free online course about the U.S. Constitution through Hillsdale College. You can find that website below.
It has taken a lot of patience to sort through all of the things that we are given upon being born a U.S. citizen, but even more patience to try and understand why someone would want the opposite ideas our founders set out to create for our country centuries ago. Our government and it’s defining documents were given to this country two hundred years ago to help maintain & outline our liberties. Our current population of citizens are divided in this understanding about the true purpose of our government body. We should be working to constantly maintain order among our officials and to always seek an increased understanding of the Constitution . Not to see which side of the aisle should have power. It shouldn’t be a constant battle of “tug of war.” There are only two sides, meaning we may function more divinely within the middle ground.
Know the struggle is real.
Duties and Rights of U.S. Citizens
What I have found…
Our first duty is to be an informed citizenry and make sure that we have our voices heard. This happens through the process of voting for our officials. Local, state and federal elections are all important. 1st Amendment also includes; freedom of Religion. Freedom of the Press, Freedom to Protest (peacefully) & last but not least, a Right to Petition the government. 2nd Amendment:This is one everyone should want to protect, but never use. This was established to fight against tyrannical ideas and government. The Right to bear arms. (Not bear arms!) 😂3rd Amendment: you will not be forced to house U.S. soldiers in your home. (Even though some of you might like to have Goose or Maverick move in!)4th Amendment: U.S. Citizens are protected against unreasonable searches of a person’s property. 5th Amendment: U.S. citizens can’t be forced to testify against themselves. (This is why you will hear people that may be asked a self-incriminating question say “I plea the 5th.”)6th Amendment: U.S. Citizens have the right to a fair and speedy trial. Within this amendment you also have the right to know what exactly you are being charged with as well as access to counsel. 7th Amendment: U.S. Citizens have the right to a trial by jury in federal court.8th Amendment: U.S. Citizens are protected from cruel and unusual punishment. This also says that you shouldn’t have outrageous fines put on you, unless of course the punishment and fines fit the crime. 9th Amendment: addresses rights, retained by the people, that are not specifically enumerated in the Constitution. {enumerated is a term that may be used loosely to mean any natural or intrinsic rights (such as rights innate to each individual or inherent to mankind) that are without expression or instance of articulation.} Like I shouldn’t “have” to spell my rights out for you! 10th Amendment: It expresses the principle of federalism, also known as states’ rights, by stating that the federal government has only those powers delegated to it by the Constitution, and that all other powers not forbidden to the states by the Constitution are reserved to each state.
Well, I finally finished it… here it is. Enjoy! Episode II
This past year has had many hits… and the hits they just keep on a coming! There have been the obvious obstacles that people generally trudge through day to day, some people with complaint, while others try to stay optimistic in the hopes that these obstacles only rear their ugly heads temporarily. It seems as though the obstacles we have collided with are much larger than anything we could have ever imagined. It’s no longer the low-paying job, it’s the low-paying job that demands that you stay home without pay to quarantine because of a likely exposure to COVID. It’s no longer only worrying about how the kids will get to school, now it’s worrying how the kids will get an education, when there is no way to access internet, and barely enough money to keep the electricity on. It’s no longer just car problems, now it’s the worry of most travel being banned. The rent being due, even though you are no longer able to work because small businesses can no longer stay open. Churches everywhere were forced to close their doors. What grows in a place of worship? Perhaps all things needed to survive the fear a pandemic brings, faith, hope and love. A place of worship (any denomination) provides a safe place for all people to connect as a collective body to meditate on hope for a better tomorrow. Life, the way in which we had grown accustomed and complacent with was flipped over, tossed upside down, with it’s ass exposed in 2020. Most individuals, regular everyday-joes, have been in a critical battle against most of these “bad situations” in order to survive. Now add on top of all of that the misuse and abuse of political powers.
Some of the things I just mentioned above are all very real effects of Covid-19, and I didn’t even mention the muzzling of the masses with mandatory masks. While these effects have been brutal to many people all across the globe. This is a message to everyone to stay quiet. Well… I can no longer stay quiet.
“Mona Lisa Under Mask Mandate”
A very real disease has infected the walls of our U.S. Government. The symptoms are present, it has created fierce division among parties. Disruption of information with censorship and silencing of any opposing political ideology, are happening daily to quiet them. If this disease remains left untreated these symptoms may lead to more fatal consequences for our Constitution and our once “semi-free” way of life.
“We must use it or lose it!”
I have not yet lived on earth 40 years and within that short time much has changed, but the most rapid changes are the obvious attacks on our Constitution, limiting our given and protected liberties. This has taken place within the past few months, in broad daylight, protected from investigation and accountability under the guise of one political party “creating” more “peace” and “unity”!!!!
I now see most things that are happening within the political realm far from resembling professionalism or acting on behalf of the body of citizens for which it was formed to govern. The current government needs a lesson in humility and service to the people. They are not our masters, but rather in service to the citizens.
The mainstream media should be calling out the moves as they occur, but this is not happening they are working as PR (public relations) operatives to only call out the moves of their approved players ensuring the win. Like a paid-off official calling only the points of the team that paid them. While simultaneously shining the spotlight on any moves the opposing side might make to defend this country then spinning it as racist or unpatriotic radicalism. Well I am normally just your average Jane, working my way through life. Minding my business and taking care of my family. The obvious disregard to the constitution has caused me to embrace my duty as a veteran and a citizen of this nation “under God!” to make others aware of their radical and unethical practices. They are only spinning the narrative to match a specific agenda.
Have a great day folks and remember it is our right to speak freely and to protest peacefully. This is just a small dose of honesty from one American with a splash of my right to free speech! Remember this is supposed to be a free country. Let me know if you find that freedom! I’m embracing mine!
A ton has happened this past year. It has felt like 7 years rolled into one, which is why I must feel dog tired! (I couldn’t resist. 😂)
Sooo sleepy…
For our family, we have taken on our own home as a remodeling project. We went down to the dirt, worked on the foundation, then built it all back up again.
I have learned several things that I find extremely annoying as living conditions are much more stressful during construction… I couldn’t stand not being able to locate clothes or necessary items to make it through the day. I felt there was no good place to relax in my home. Everyday having a list of chores that needed done in order to show real progress.
Result of this frustration: I minimized my insane wardrobe. It eliminates the time I wasted looking for the “perfect” thing to wear.
It’s about spending time on what matters.
So we worked our full time jobs then came home to complete something, anything… even when we didn’t feel like standing up. There were a few days we let each other off the hook. I’m thinking back now and had I given in on the days I was particularly annoyed there would be so much more work yet to be done.
The result of overcoming this challenge. Self awareness of my capacity to learn new things and push past the discomfort. Being annoyed is an emotion that arrives to warn you that you are in a moment of discomfort, but it will pass.
Accept your emotional self and embrace all the feelings! Understand that you are still in charge of the negative ones as well as the happy ones.
We began initially set on replacing all the flooring. which quickly became installing new windows, new siding, new paint in every room, and reorganizing everyone’s things to only keep what is necessary. The less we have to straighten up the better after all of the intense labor we have experienced over the last few months.
During the upgrade of our home I used the time to listen to audiobooks by Eckhart Tolle, all the while digging deeper into my own construction. Picking out specific moments in my life that had helped to create problems with my mentality and identity throughout life. I listened to audiobooks about “Seeking Happiness” I listened to heart healing sounds at the frequency that intensifies healing. I made many TikTok videos showing the progress only to give it up, after realizing my unhealthy obsession, and put it aside to focus on “real” life. I had noticed an evolution within those long 3 months
The first room we finished!
We are still working and the construction zone is near completion… but my personal work will always be one that is in progress as I want to embrace who I AM in each and every situation. I can practice just being. I haven’t forgotten to appreciate the moments that have helped me appreciate the gift of being alive.
After watching the above YouTube video the following thoughts emerged. As I continue on my journey of self acceptance and self love… I dig much deeper into my childhood and realize now that there are very specific details that helped make me into a “super people pleaser!”
Want to know how one becomes a “super people pleaser?” Here is a short list of things that I have personally identified as common things people may have experienced or endured, which increases the likelihood of becoming a super people pleaser.
Ingredient #1] stress on the mother during pregnancy. This is said to release more cortisol levels for the unborn child. (Some have also said that this can create emotional disregulation because the unborn child is receiving too much of that stress hormone in utero that it literally messes with the design of the brain.)
Ingredient #2] place him/her in an environment that is strict and also stingy with positivity.
My mom and dad… What a long story. First of all, bless their hearts. I know that they were doing their best! I can honestly say that now after being a parent now for over a decade, & looking back at my mistakes in parenting. It’s not an easy job. Anyone that says otherwise is in denial. Trust me!
Ingredient #3] praise the child only when they do exactly what you want them to do.
Growing up I was constantly told to listen. I grew up with a very authoritative dad & my mom was just enough of an authoritarian that whatever she demanded, we delivered. She made sure that we listen to her and that we weren’t allowed to have our own opinions on things like food or clothing, anything really. We were always told “you’ll take what you can get & like it.” A seriously dangerous mantra from my childhood, and I just realized this is the reason I have a hard time making decisions for myself now in my 38th year of life. Doing what I want to do seems like an action for royalty, not me. If you treat your children like peasants they will expect bread crumbs, but will settle for any piece of the crust when it is presented. It will not matter if it is their piece of the pie or not they just want more than crumbs. They want to believe that they are worth more than crumbs. This idea that they aren’t able to make decisions for themselves leaves them listening to others needs and wants while suppressing their own. Ignoring the voice that makes them unique and authentic. This idea that they are unable to access this voice and be heard has been ingrained into their brain as if to know that the voice/desire to have what they want is there, but it is out of order. The child continues through life looking to everyone else for the answers and listening to “these so called answers” even to their own demise. Because their core value or belief of who they are rests on the belief that “you are only a good kid if you do what you are told.”
Well that was enlightening. Illuminating for myself even.
2020 has been quite the ride. We have been diligently working on remodeling our home. We are nearing completion and have redone every room of the house. I will be posting photos soon of all the changes. I will be very happy to complete this huge project, it has been a difficult one.
Happy Holidays everyone! I’m praying for a peaceful 2021!
The World in Black and White 
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