Entering the scene: An innocent child walks upon broken eggshells.
She timidly tiptoes through the mess, fearing a misstep will awaken her very own concept of hell.
This appears to be leftover shrapnel, sprayed about the floor, more added everyday.
Fight or flight, her consistent, constant state
Now we watch as her mother departs, we watch as she drives away leaving her family behind.
The mother continues down this other path, hoping this other man would ease her own troubled mind.
We see the little girl, distraught & abandoned, feeling powerless against this one thought “I’m not good enough.”
We watch as she nervously applies layer after layer of mortar and brick.
First, she will fall for anyone who sees her as a beautiful person not someone unworthy & sick.
A novice at life, not even a teen. The child begins to build her very own wall.
She would realize at a later time in life, that the higher she builds it, the harder she’ll fall.
We see her wander around like an obedient puppy, seeking out a treat.
Consistently reinforced, her own desires are quick to retreat.
The people pleasing attitude
She believes that everyone must be pleased with her & what she can do.
A pattern established in her life before the age of ten, “ditch them 1st before they can leave.”
The pain she hides from the world, it’s hard to describe, even harder to conceive.
No one can abandon her if she’s the one walking away.
Her father now comes into view, we see him trying to raise three kids on his own.
She doesn’t know who to be, or where to go.
The words spew from her father’s mouth, the insults spoken of women stunting her mind.
“Don’t be like your mother, the only thing she ever did well…was lie.”
Echoes of his bitterness and pain can still be heard in her ears.
Growing up too fast, too many bad things to deal and not enough years.
Empathizing with her father’s pain as she tries to help him heal.
Growing up in fear, she learns to lead her life by how things feel.
The pain of this tragedy, so fresh, she still has no idea of how long it’s been.
Mapped out for her by this painful past, she takes the long way which leads to self-hate and sin.
She obeys what “they” say, believing their lies.
Not yet learning her own untethered way.
Ignoring the red flags, her own self-respect just to numb the pain.
Her own happiness,she decides can be found by making others smile.
Her own state of well-being would not be discovered for awhile.
Underneath her fake expression and silence…
her fears have successfully harnessed her self-confidence.
The innocence that carried her through half of her life…
She discovers was only hidden. It had not yet died.
The past she had carried, she releases as it was poorly constructed.
What do we want the audience to learn from her “Start loving yourself and don’t be self-destructive!”