The post today will cover my thoughts and feelings on being mindful and my mental health self-evaluation. I have found that the self-discovery continues, and as I dive deeper into how I process life, my reactions to situations and people, the more I’m realizing how much Borderline Personality Disorder has continued to create turmoil in my personal and professional life.
I missed my opportunity to post yesterday, and oddly enough I should have posted not just because I want to write everyday… but, I want my Thursday posts to be about being mindful. So I did live my life yesterday with intention. I had counseling, so my entire day was focused on being mindful. I spent most of my day being present with my daughter. We went to the library after dropping big brother off at school, we both found a couple of books and she enjoyed playing with the nice Lego table they have for the little people. I watched her enjoy building and creating new things. She built a beach that had an alligator and Lego people. She said, “This was so much fun, mom!” It was fun to watch my little girl analyze all of the little pieces available to her and what she would do with each piece while creatively building this beach. She is so imaginative. I don’t remember using my imagination half as much as she does. I am so blessed to be her mommy.
Counseling went very well. We went over the “How” on being more mindful. My counselor had one of the books I was looking for at the library. They didn’t have it, so I felt blessed to be able to borrow one of the books that the kids’ counselor had suggested. The book is called “One Minute Mindfulness” by Donald Altman. I will start reading that wonderful piece of literature after I finish the book that I just checked out from the library. The one I am currently reading is called “Choose The Life You Want.” by Tal Ben-Shahar. I have already finished 7 chapters, and really like it. Chapter 7, is called Procrastination. Who is guilty of this? Most everyone, right? The author says to use a helpful technique called “The Five-Minute Takeoff.” I can see how this method would be helpful. The objective here is to just dive into that project or chore that you need to accomplish for five minutes. Once you do this for five minutes you are at a better place than you were before, because now you are actually doing something productive and not procrastinating, but acting. I am about to use this technique to paint some walls in the living room. I bought the can of paint several weeks ago… and yes I wanted to paint right away, but I had too many other things that stopped me. I did what I normally do, I complied to my feelings to just procrastinate. I feel that I am always waiting for the perfect time to paint. Folks the truth is this – Perfect timing doesn’t exist.
Self-evaluation. I feel more aware, and less on autopilot. I have been living so much like a zombie and never realizing why (minus the eating and craving brains part). My past included an established a routine, something easy and comfortable. I could easily set my destination on Michelle’s Map as “just get through the day.” (like a google map, but more accurate). I have literally coasted through a full day before on numerous occasions. I have had moments throughout those days where I would kind of catch myself realizing that I was just going through the motions, and I would say to myself… “this is so easy, I am doing things and not even thinking about them.” WTH? Why do I do this? I love being present and intentional so much more. It really does awaken our spirit. When we take time to pay attention and be present. It is more about experiencing the things around me, the things that make up my world right now. Appreciating the small and delicate details of the people and experiences we are blessed to share. I am learning that this is truly one of the biggest blessings in life. Our ability to experience, to see, hear, speak, touch, feel, taste. I am so very rich to be given these things. I will not take these great blessings for granted ever again. Life is a wonderful thing, you just have to be mindful of all of those wonderful things it consists of.
Be intentional today and as you listen today pay attention to the message, as you talk today be true to your heart and mind, as you feel notice the texture and temperature, as you inhale notice the natural aroma of your home or the environment. As you take notice of the things around you, look at it with the amazement, like that of a child, that is seeing it for the first time. Life is really amazing, and being mindful of that really can change your mood.